寄托作文点评： Issue 169-GRE写作

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寄托作文点评： Issue 169

http://www.gter.net 2003-2-9 10:01:56 寄托天下作者:paisley bridger

Issue 169 "Those who treat politics and morality as though they were separate realms fail to understand either the one or the other."

One of polarized scholarly opinions of Machiavelli is that politics is detached from morality altogether, and then morality has no role in
determining political action. While from my point of view, these two
concepts should not be treated mutually exclusive. They are the two wheels
of our society without either the society will bog down in swamp.
Morality dealing with (concerning about) honesty, liberality, kindness, and
integrity is the fundament of all behaviors of human beings, with which
people can chose a justifiable position between right and wrong, good and
evil, justice and bias. A person with no consciousness of morality would be
blind to kickbacks and money passed under the table.
At the social level, the impact of morality on politics is obvious for many
of the issues on the political front burner today, such as sex and violence
in popular entertainment or the alleged decline of “family values.” But
these are just the tips of iceberg. To understand broader and more
pervasive impact of morality, one should draw his or her attention to the
failure of government leaders to be-candid in America in the 1960’s,
during which (during that time), the most prominent and widely used new
expression in the lexicon was “credibility gap,” which, put more bluntly,
is a widespread public belief that government lies to its own people.
Without politics, narrowly speaking, not to deploy tactics to stand on the
behalf of a country, gain interests for a party, and benefits to one’s
own, seems literally that nations, political parties and individual beings
will go on very well and even achieve perfection automatically just by
reason of applying morality. People who hold such illusion in his or her
mind is likely (their minds are likely) to agree with the consideration
that an idealized state where no government, political party or leader
exist were virtually on earth. In that utopian “wonderland,” all private
individuals and corporations are self-governing. Everything that
government, political party or leader can do is accomplished through free-
market forces and (by embracing) the willingness to do good to society.
That must be a chimerical idea only lives (living) in a bubble. For the sake of social stability and development, nations, parties and most important of all, political leaders should put politics and morality together in order to get a better understanding and should behave ad-hoc morally while they engage in political actions. Only by doing so, the ultimate goal of politics---to foster a good society, which is a highly ethical undertaking will be reached.

by bridger

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点评 by paisley

优点还是不少的，不说了，几个建议和意见

1. 我猜想你是一边查字典一边写作文的是吗?里面好几个很难的词,通常见不到的。我建议你写作文时不要借助任何工具，也不要在WORD文档里写。必须在规定时间内完成,不会的单词宁可空着也不要去查字典. 另外，尽量避免用GRE难词,GRE作文的难,不在于词句

2. 你的表达比较生涩, 好多地方我都不明白你要说什么. 你的选词不是很准确，加上语法结构也掌握的不是特别好，让人很疑惑. 在语言的流畅性和准确性上，你还要下功夫. 建议去背一些文章.但是不要照抄

3. 行文的时候，最好把你的中心思想在每段开头提出. 就是说。来个中心句.这是很重要的
　

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