caleb点评自己的PS 和 resume

caleb点评自己的PS 和 resume

http://www.gter.net 2002-10-12 15:58:37 我爱南开站作者:This (This is a book)

发信人: This (This is a book), 信区: Flywest
标题: caleb点评自己的PS zz
发信站: 我爱南开站 (2002年09月21日21:13:37 星期六), 站内信件

■●发信人: caleb (难酬蹈海亦英雄), 信区: AdvancedEdu
标题: caleb点评自己的PS 发信站: BBS 水木清华站 (Fri Apr 28 02:34:36 2000)
caleb点评自己的PS [据说CALEB在BERKELEY读博]
=================================================================

Statement of Purpose
My birthplace determined the core of myself./*第一句是很关键的。
我曾想过很多，结果还是用了这个最不得意的。因为它最符合整篇的风格。*/
Born in Liaohe Oil field/*辽河油田，我的家乡*/,an area that has long been so
savage and desolate that rarely did people reside there, I was able to witn
ess how my parents and other workers fought with relentless determination an
d how they strove to explore the great uncertainty for treasure-crude oil./*
为下文埋下伏笔*/ Apart from the bravery, another great benefit I obtained wa
s learning to be unfettered when dealing with problems.Since most problems t
hey encountered everyday were fresh to them, my parents and their peers had
to throw off the trammel of aditional ways and seek alternatives. Thus, inno
vation was ingrained in my character even before I received
any formal education./*米国人欣赏INNOVATION，也正好是自己的真实写照，所以重
笔描绘。*/
Thanks to the austerity of my birthplace, I was endowed with many dominan
t characteristics, which influenced both my private life as well as academic
life in my future. /*现在想想的确如此，
小时候的漫天疯跑玩耍真的养成了CALEB放荡不羁的性格*/
Combining them with my own diligence and intelligence, I was able to dist
inguish myself to enter "Chicago" No. 2 Senior High School. The reason why I
chose it was not only for its reputation of "the cradle of future college
students," but also because of its unique didactics-leaving great room for s
elf-improvement. This seemed radical compared to other schools then,but fort
unately it suited my innovative nature very much. Instead of being ossified
by lectures or textbooks, we were encouraged to learn by ourselves, communic
ate, and cooperate with others (for instance, we always formed into groups t
o discuss specific topics like the theme of an essay or a historic figure) a
nd participate in extracurricular activities./*高中是一所重点高中。 2中的特点
就是崇尚自由发展，课堂时间短，自习时间长，活动时间长。想想当时2中的生活真的
给自己养成了好的思维习惯。同样，这段也是迎合鬼子崇尚自由的心理，当然说的也是
事实，没有丝毫的虚构*/
Everything went on smoothly until I met the biggest challenge of my life
- I failed to enter Tsinghua University, maybe the best university in China,
on the National College Entrance Test (NCET, similar to SAT). I was unable
to face the fact for a long while although I was admitted to "University of
Minnesota", another prestigious higher education institute of China. Howeve
r, my brave nature dominated and made me stand again to confront the unsucce
ssfulness. Up to now, I still feel proud of my choice and the very effort I
made to fulfill my goal then. Despite
the failure, I did succeed in gaining self-assurance under any unfavorable c
ircumstances. /* 高考时真的没考上情话，现在回头看看真是遗憾，那时太小，根本
不懂一个好大学对自己有什么影响。要是当时
能把自己申请的一半力气用上，估计肯定能考上了。这段其实是照应前面的 BRAVERY。
也为自己不是名笑出身做了一点点委婉的解释。*/
During four years' college study, I was chosen into the Talented Student
Program after an extremely stiff competition - screening nearly 1,700 freshm
en for the best 35./*就是所谓的尖子班，好象很多学校都有，情话我一个同学就是
*/ We had a much harder burden but enjoyed an eclectic syllabus as you can s
ee from my transcripts. /* 本科的课程很杂，当时也很辛苦，不过很值得。现在看可
解决大问题了。这绝对是自己申请中的一个优势。*/We were able to hear lectures
given by almost all prominent professors of the university, from mathematic
al analysis to strategy management./*说这两门课是因为数学很重要，而且我的一
风推荐信就是让数学分析老师写的，有所照应，至于战略管理也同里可证*/ I was com
pletely enchanted by the academic world, from abstract theory of mathematics
to practical principles of economics. Academics was so intriguing to me tha
t it was during this period of time that I made up my mind to take academics
as my career goal, specifically, be a
professor in a university. I chose management as major because management ha
d long been ignored in China and few people had ever made great efforts to
explore this "savage and desolate" area, just like my birthplace - Liaohe Oi
l Field./*这一小段可以说是我自己感觉最精彩的一部分，照应了前面的叙述，把选择
专业的问题回答的很圆满，其实说实话，自己心理的潜意识也是这么想的，说心里话当
然很容易了。*/Thus it will be challenging but deserving if I devote myself t
o the study of this area. /*这段是回答问什么选择本专业的问题。到大学时才确定
是比较正常的思路，也容易为人所接受。*/
My first exploration was my undergraduate work paper---"Research on Indus
trial Organization of Fodder Industry of "Minnesota Province". It was a tota
lly new subject to me, to most of my classmates and even some professors be
cause the theory was introduced to China very recently. I did the research m
ainly by quantitative analysis on historical data. A simple mathematical mod
el/*其实就是一元线形回归分析*/ was established to interpret and predict the
status of industrial organization of "Minnesota" fodder industry. Through ab
out 4 months research, I understood what is a researcher's work: from the ve
ry beginning, identifying the problem, seeking related data and documents, m
aking himself familiar with various views on the problem, analyzing
and organizing them from his own to synthesize the result of the academic ac
tivity: a report, a paper, or a thesis./*的确当时写论文是大姑娘上矫---头一遭
，所以特别用心。虽然数据有”伪造“嫌疑，但是现在回头看看，觉得风格还是满正
式的。 */
While exposed to various academic fields to broaden my horizon during co
llege study, I narrowed my efforts on basic research skills and did research
mainly by myself during graduate
study. I firmly believe that by doing so, I would make my academic future mo
re grounded and better prepared. I drilled myself on computer programming fo
r a specific academic aim (i.e. seeking the best solutions of optimistic pro
blems) instead of just for fun. By searching indexes or Internet for specifi
c materials for my own research, I began to be accustomed to taking advantag
e of these basic academic skills. From 2nd year of graduate study I particip
ated in the research sponsored by the Science & Tech Commission of "Chicago"
municipal government. The research is quite comprehensive but mainly involv
es investigating the organizational transformation of "Chicago" Science & Te
ch research institutes from public to profitable sectors and how to improve
their effectiveness from strategic perspective. /*到了这一段，我自己感觉我PS
开写走下坡路了。很简单，因为我的研究生生活过的远不象本科乃至高中时那么爽。
本科的精英教育让我一到研究生阶段非常的不适应，感觉老师怎么一个比一个差啊？
因此没学什么正经东东，天天逃课。从研2开始申请一次，失败了之后再来。。所以更
是没干什么正是。体会不深，也写不出什么东西。*/ /*明眼人能看出来，一般的PS其实
会把研究生的课题写的很多的。很多牛人也是到这里开始出彩了。可是我却偏偏一笔
带过。没什么，不是没向导，实在是不敢下笔。因为我的课题实际是研究国有资产，
而”国有资产“这个词汇只有在中国讨论的很凶，米国鬼子根本就不防在眼里。所以也
不敢展开。这一点实在是我申请的”软肋“。后来UCLA的鬼子面食第一个问题就是这
个，结果很自然的我就被句掉了。*/
To fulfill my career goal, I intend to pursue my Ph.D. and further my st
udy in a program best fit for me. Your honored program falls into my scope n
ot only because of the great prestige
of University of Michigan and the program, but also because 3 points so fasc
inating to me:
* Rarely does any other program stress on academic innovation like yours. N
eedless to say, rarely does any other program fit my innovative nature like
yours either.
* The research-oriented program will allow me to take best advantage of my
diverse skills developed during undergraduate and graduate study.
* The small size of the program will provide me with more opportunity to s
hare views with world-class faculty and learn from them.
/* 这一段是我冥思苦想出来的，因为要写为什么选择该笑，当时觉得太头疼了。为什
么，就是要你的名和利吗。不过那么写太赤裸裸了。而要写的行云流水又不现实，所
以我创造出来了个”列表“法，把一些优点罗列出来。换一个学校就换几点。比较公
式化。不过好象效果不太好。自己去判断吧。*/
If I were fortunate enough to be admitted, I would like to concentrate my
Ph.D. study on:
* Organizational transformation, esp. research that investigates such beha
vior under transitional circumstances.
* Strategic adaptation, esp. research that inquires how organizations desi
gn and implement new strategy dynamically.
* Management of technology, esp. analysis of governmental and organization
al effect on technology development.
/* 这段写要学什么方向去，我TMD其实学什么都成。只要给钱，钱，是我当时唯一
要得到的东东。当然现在有了OFFER就装清高了，也得考虑考虑什么气候了，地点了等
等。。。但是不写还不太好。结果又是，
我感觉自己不了解的东西一写是准窜帮。不专业，不地道。 */
Your kind suggestion on this matter will be appreciated. At last, I am c
onfident that under your seasoned guidance, I will fully develop my intellec
tual potential in academic research. It will come as no surprise that one-da
y, I become one of the foremost authorities on Chinese management after I gr
aduate from your program.
/*最后一段是最差的了。新东方的老师看了肯定会笑的前仰后合，因为就是造抄新东方
的书信选。我当时的PS自己感觉越写月走下坡路，到最后竟然实在没有可写的了。只
好。。。”窃书不算偷书“了。各位看官莫笑。*/
---------------------------------------------------------------------
总评：
这篇PS的套路很简单，就是个人成长型。本来想用更新奇的写法，但想来想去，
觉得自己功力不逮，还是作罢。当时正是GRE刚考完，所以PS 里出现了很多大家很熟
悉的词汇。有点卖弄了。不过还是有点效果。
全文可能就是一些用词还算可圈可点。还有LIAOHE OIL FIELD的前后呼应是个亮点。别
的其实也就平平。如果打分的话，我给自己打7分/10分满。
当时写PS时曾给国内的2个朋友看，结果被很很批了一顿。 TRACY MM说我花太多笔
墨在大学之前了。浙大的网友说我没写出研究的东东。当时给我打击太大了。花了这
么长时间的酝酿就得到这么一个评论？
后来让我的网妹---CLAUDIA（她在TEXAS）给我看。并且我对她说一定要给我找个
”老”教授看看。并且开始不要对他说是谁写的，和她什么关系。就是要他的第一印
象。结果CLAUDIA对我说，教授当时看呆了，不住赞叹，而且让他产生了来中国的念头
。我知道CLAUDIA一向是鼓励我，所以可能有点夸张。不过我感肯定的是，我PS能打动
一些鬼子。这就足够了。
严格说，我PS肯定会被很多牛人所耻笑。如我前面所说，我有些避实就虚了。一
般人爱写的什么项目了，实验了，论文拉，我写的明显太少。现在回头看看，觉得自己
没有走错。因为人的条件不同，牛人当然就是牛。我2年前认识的情话大牛，一夜之间
就能高定BEKELEY的OFFER，凭的就是他的文章。但是他 PS写的，，
真是“又臭又长”（听到了您可别生气啊，呵呵）。可读性及差。前几天我让一个正准
备出国的本科生看，他问我，这个人去哪了？我告诉他，他去的地方肯定你是去不成了
。牛人就是这么样的牛---我的PS甚至都有错字，照别人抄的连性别都望了该，照样有
牛笑接着。人比人得气死人。
我的PS严格说不是STATEMENT OF PURPOSE，而是PERSONAL STATEMENT。这两者是
有一点点区别的。前者可能就是大家印象中的那种中归中局的PS，而后者则走的是个
人路线，强调个人的性格和潜力，而不强调经验和成绩。这种风格国外的PS中常用。
我觉得自己就是受他们的影响很深。当然最重要的是自己的确没什么
可夸的。如果非名笑的朋友门觉得自己没什么太多的成绩，不妨也试试走这种细腻的打
法。如果学人家的长传冲吊，恐怕没什么前途。
还有。我说了，我的PS前半段写的感觉比后面精彩，那是因为我有感而发，写的
自然流畅一些。可是后面的就差多了。希望您自己写的时候也试试？多写自己的真实
感受，“为赋新词强说愁”恐怕效果更差。
PS的好坏不会决定一个人的成功与否，但是写好了绝对加重成功的砝码。
最后提醒各位，请领会精神，抄袭是没有前途的。后果自负。

--
1.Life is short, Play more.
2.Busy for living, or busy for death.
※ 来源:·我爱南开站 bbs.nankai.edu.cn·[FROM: * ]

__________________

cable 点评resume zz
发信人: This (This is a book), 信区: Flywest
标题: cable 点评resume zz
发信站: 我爱南开站 (2002年09月21日21:15:33 星期六), 站内信件

■●发信人: caleb (难酬蹈海亦英雄), 信区: AdvancedEdu
标题: 点评resume 发信站: BBS 水木清华站 (Fri Apr 28 02:37:01 2000)
=================================================================
Caleb
EDUCATION
1997 - Present Northwestern University (NWU)
M.S. Expected March 2000 Industrial Management Engineering
? GPA : 3.81
1993 -1997 University of Minnesota (UMN)
B.S. July 1997 Industrial Management Engineering
? GPA: 3.51
/*这GPA里的猫腻咱就不多说了，反正我呢，是都加了个0。01，尤其是本科GPA，绵
绵跄跄凑个大于3。5。怕不满足一些学校的要求。不知道鬼子算出来的结果是什么样。
*/
EXPERIENCE
1997 - Present NWU Department of Management Engineering Teaching Assistant
? Gave lectures to undergraduate students
? Gathered and graded papersheets
? Helped students solve problems
/*做过一端任棵教师。为TA做准备*/
1997- Present NWU
Research Assistant for Professor "Abraham Lincoln"
? Participated in seminars and academic conferences
? Did office work like typing and filing
? Supervised Prof. Lincoln's lab and maintained the facilities
/*说是RA，其实特简单，估计是个研究生都干过这些*/
10/1998- 3/1999 "Evaston" IBM
Assistant Manager for the President Manager
? Participated in strategy decision of the Group
? Revised work regulation
/* 做过一端兼职工作，其实没参与什么核心的东东，不过申请管理专业，这个估计
也起了一点点作用*/
9/1997- "Evaston" Municipal Government
Volunteer Interpreter
? Translated written materials like essays, telegraphs, and faxes
? Worked as an English oral interpreter during "Evaston" International Fri
endship Month
/* 友好月作过翻译，其实就是接接鬼子，不过沾边就算。还混了翻译2篇大会论文*

/
1995 - 1996 UMN
Research Assistant for Associate Professor Linda
? Supervised Prof. Linda's Electronic Lab and organized lab work
? Maintained and repaired the lab facilities
? Participated in Prof. Linda's academic activities
/* 说白了，就是课代表，不过咱当时可是真尽职尽责的说。决非仅仅首首作业而
已。 */
1993 - 1994 UMN Department of Foreign Language Teaching Assistant
? Assisted Professor Tracy with organizing lessons plans
? Organized class seminars
? Acted as coordinator between Prof. Tracy and classmates
/* 也是课代表了。不过当时偶的确是非常活跃的，尤其是大一，当时英语学的非常
认真，也积极参与各种学习活动。 */
PUBLICATIONS
? "Strategic Shift of Science & Tech institutes of "Evaston" : from public
sectors to profitable units" Article, "management science", 10/1999
? "Establishment of new science & tech state-owned property management syst
em based on the idea of capital operation Report for Science & Tech Co
mmission of "Evaston" municipal government, 1999
? "In-depth research on science & tech institutes reform: trial of establis
hment of new organization - capital operation company"
Article, forthcoming
/*这几篇“著作”估计得让行家笑掉大牙了。 CALEB成天在网上鬼混，而且研究生一直
忙着申请，文章写的太少了。最后两个其实都不是。惭愧*/
SPECIAL SKILLS
Computers
? Extensive experience with word processing, database and other software lik
e SPSS,
? Wrote and compiled programs in C, FORTRAN, BASIC, Foxpro, Visual Basic
? Skilled in navigation of the Internet and using browsers
/*这部分偶可很骄傲，但是关系还不是很大， FAINT。每法向鬼子展示偶的本领啊*/

Promotion
? Motivated Grad School Soccer Team to seek new membership and promoted it
on campus
/* 这部分是败笔，要不要都成。*？
AWARDS AND HONORS
? 1997 - Present Graduate Registration Scholarship
/* 呵呵，其实就是研究生每月发的200元补助，不过真是叫“奖学金”的说。不信
可以到衙门去查查。 */
? 1993 - 1997 Outstanding Undergraduate Student Fellowship
? 7/1997 Excellent Undergraduate Thesis Award
/* 这个就是偶毕业论文得了个优。*/
? 9/1994 2nd award on Military Contest
? 5/1994 Outstanding Award on English Competition (only 2 out of about
1,700 participants)
/*这个就是一个全笑组织的英语考试。每想到运气真好，居然得了个特等奖。
当时还上主席台领江，和校长握了手，真TMD的难忘。这么多年就出息过那
么一次。*/
? 5/1994 2nd Award on Oral English Contest STANDARD TESTS
? GRE: Verbal: 800 Quantitative: 800 Analytical: 800 Total: 2400(kidding
) Date: Nov. 5, 1999
? TOEFL: Listening: 68 Grammar: 68 Reading: 67 Total: 677 Date: May 9,
1998
? TWE: 6.0 Date: May 9, 1998
/* 这没什么可说的。是多少就多少吧。我乱写的，别当真偶。：） */
LANGUAGES
? Excellent in English, especially in reading and speaking
? Limited knowledge of Japanese
/* 随便又加了点东东，可有可无的*/
/* 整个RESUME基本格式是照一个鬼子的模仿的。其实中心应该在PUBLICATION和 EXPE
RIENCE上。偶太缺了，只好拿了一些不相关的东东充数。见笑了。有本事的人，
或叫牛人什么的，往往PUBLICATION 就能写一业，而且还只写国际部分。相比之下，
真叫人嫉妒的眼发蓝*/
caleb
P.O. Box 417 Northwestern University
"Evaston, Michigan"
P.R. China, 100000

--
1.Life is short, Play more.
2.Busy for living, or busy for death.
※ 来源:·我爱南开站 bbs.nankai.edu.cn·[FROM: * ]

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